So Upset and Very Disappointed

Yes, it is true. It has been a most difficult week. Hubby has been home sick. The boys were home for 2 days on Fall Break. I was already behind from the previous week with sick boys, lots of work at the elementary school, and two days of Fall Break. I hope this is crunch time at the school because it always seems like when it rains, it pours. This week didn't seem hard but the assignments were huge and count a large chunk of our final grade. Friday night after working almost all day on assignments and studying, I realized Bailey was sleeping at 9pm. I had let an entire day slip by without really seeing my baby girl. I was heartbroken and broke down and cried. I know I said that I would not continue to let my studies interfere but with such big assignments with large GPA percentages, I just could not let it go. If I turn it in late, I get a zero. Thankfully she did awaken at 11:30 and we played briefly before I let her have some TV time which she always enjoys late at night.

Which this now leads me to situation which I am not proud of. So we have an instructor who is not so helpful. I have been at odds with her since before the semester started and I have written about her once before. Remember, I had to drive back to the bookstore on a Saturday after the first week of class is over to find a textbook. It is the same instructor. Well, recently she had included questions on the test that are not covered in the book, she doesn't answer my questions when I email her, and most recently she docked me 20 points for a set of 4 essays (10 pages) because I essay was not written about the topic she intended us to write about. It took me three emails to figure out what the topic should have been. I cannot imagine how badly she will be tearing up my research paper that is due tomorrow.

I feel sick when I think about it. I dread doing homework. I dread having to email her. I hate Psychology now. I save it for last. It is these thoughts that make me realize that it is time to contact the department chair. I know of 3 other students complaining about her and others that I talk with are not satisfied but are afraid to say anything. It is not fair. Now, it is too late to drop the class. I'll have to finish this semester out and hope I can at least maintain a decent grade in the class. I need to work on contacting the department chair first thing Monday morning to get things in motion before I get another bad grade. It makes me sick to think about it.

Mid Point

It's okay to celebrate a little early, isn't it? I feel as these semesters drag by that each one seems longer and I feel the burn much sooner than the previous one. These classes should seem fun, interesting, thought-provoking, and most importantly helpful. I already have come across many situations in which my education this time around has helped me with the boys and their homework. Perhaps this is more true of Patrick since I feel like I'm strugling to keep up with him. I realize they do not go as in-depth into these subjects as I do but nevertheless it completely blows my mind sometimes.

Anyway, the end of this week marks the official half-way point in this semester. It has been very difficult. I am hoping to finish with all body parts still intack. Only time will tell if that holds up. I keep holding onto the fact that after this semester, I only have one more big semester to go. I have already decided to take only three courses and I absolutely will not allow myself to take on another full load like this until I am in a seated class. It is just too much to handle for the long-term while raising three children and three animals.

In Spanish, we are spending some time this week reflecting on how the semester is going. We do a lot of reflecting in this class and that is okay. I wish more classes did that. While raising the three kittens a couple of weeks ago, I got very behind in my studies. With all 100s I figured it would okay to save the lives of three little ones. They are all safely with a foster parent right now and we know they are in good hands. But I am left with some bad marks in every class but one (knock on wood, please don't let this class get ruined also). Thankfully I still have my As but I am struggling getting back into the swing of things. With so much else going on around me it is hard staying focused while weighing which is more important right now. Do I let Bailey continue to watch extra TV or do I skip a lesson this week and take another bad mark? Perhaps I should clarify that a bad mark for me is considered in the 80s which technically is considered average.

One other remark before I close. In looking ahead I see that we have a lot of homework to complete Thanksgiving week. It is a typical week for online students. It is not fair for online students to have a full workload Thanksgiving week while seated students do not. We always travel out of town to visit with family and I am really tired of doing homework the whole time. I hope they will have mercy on us as that time approaches.

With that being said, it's time to close. I'm falling asleep on the keyboard and need to start the new week.

One month done, 3 to go

It does help to know that I have made it through the first quarter. Week 5 starts today and it is the first week I haven't felt completely overwhelmed on a Monday. I began plotting my game plan for the week last night so that helps me keep all this in perspective. This is an interesting load of classes and each has its own set of challenges. I believe I will be sick of tests by the end of this semester. We have between 2-4 tests each week along with reading, lectures, assignments, lab, and discussions. It is keeping me very busy but I expected this. I continue to look forward to Dec. 15th when this semester will be behind me and I'll have a lighter load until next spring.
Geology has been interesting. We do a weekly lab along with a lesson or GeoTour, quiz, and our assignments. It seems like a lot of work but if you have a photographic memory, it is probably quite easy.
History has been interesting as well but the class got off to a rough start. Our first chapter addressed evolution and we had a few too many students in there who had to share their opinions on religious beliefs. Personally, I would have kicked a few out of the classroom but the instructor continues to correct those students instead.
Psychology is going well. I took this class about 20 years ago so it isn't too foreign to me. I feel like much of it is a refresher and I am still learning new theories and ideas that have developed since my last class.
Spanish appears to be going quite well but I am hesitant. We have our first test this week and it worries me a bit. I did quite well on the pretest and studied more last week so I should be on track. I am curious to see how many people are able to finish this class. Lisa, one of my favorite classmates, feels that this might be the one she needs to drop since she is trying to handle 5 classes.
That is it in a nut shell. Everyting seems to be going well. Bailey is still left alone most of the day but I keep telling myself just 3 more months. We joined the Y so she does get some play time and Audrey comes over occassionally to play with her some as well. Her evaluation is tomorrow and we will find out then whether she needs speech before school starts or if it can wait. In a way I would feel better to go ahead and get her in there now to at least get her caught up. I do not like these kids starting school behind as what happened with Patrick and Bradley. It took Patrick 5 years to catch up and Bradley is still working through it. That's all for now folks.

Back to the grindstone

Beginning the semester while on vacation is not recommended. I'm starting off behind and feel very stressed. I was smart to get some reading done beforehand but that simply wasn't enough. I needed those 4 days to familarize myself with the classes and material. I missed two assignments due last Wednesday (geesh, we were still in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico and without internet) and despite checking in Thursday morning, afternoon and Friday afternoon, I didn't notice it until Friday night. By then I panicked and called the instructor and left her an email. I absolutely despise leaving a bad first impression like that. I felt lower than dirt. Also, I was given the wrong textbook and had to exhange it Saturday morning. Meaning, that was another wasted trip to the bookstore. I'm feeling better now and already have this week's assignments finished in that class and we were just given them yesterday. I made a 95 on my first test in there also. Now I'm still behind in my other 3 classes though. So I must return to my studies quickly.

My ship has come in

In desperation, I ordered my textbooks online last Thursday. I got an email Friday night showing the order was filled. I'm going down there to pick them up as soon as Bailey wakes up. I know the order should be complete but until I get them all in my fat little hands, I'm not holding my breath. Oh my goodness, if they are truly in I am all set. That is one huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I almost can't wait to get down there and pick them up so I'll know for sure without this false sense of hope looming over me.

In the meantime, I'm busy packing and preparing for our trip. We will be gone for 10days but I only want to pack for 5 days and anticipate washing clothes 2-3 times while we are on the road. I don't know if we have enough clothes for 10 full days away. Even if we did, I don't know if our cabin on the ship will accomodate that many clothes either.

I can't believe summer break is practically over. It went by so fast. The pools close in less than a month and then the cooler nights return.

Grrrr

Why is it that I drive 40 miles to the school bookstore to buy books hoping to save a few dollars in the long run and they have nothing for me to buy? The two books I need are not in stock. On top of that, I also attempted to sell back my books from summer but they do not do book buy-back on Saturday. I was going to buy the Geology lab kit but it is exempt from the tax-free holiday since it is over $100. I left empty handed (well, except for my old books) and Bailey struck gold with yet another chocolate candy bar for her persistant patience with me. Realizing that I had just wasted another $20, I was about in tears. At least I faired better on my trip to JCPenney for shoes (they were all on clearance) and Walmart for a birthday present (we found tons of toys on clearance). Seriously, I would buy my books from Amazon but they don't carry either one of these. I'm still fuming!

I am so upset! In nine days we are heading south for our vacation. This is the only time we can take a vacation as a family this year due to our school and work schedules. Our last scheduled event is my family reunion on Sunday and we are free until school starts. Little did I know back in January when we were scheduling this trip that my school would start back while I am on the cruise (the school calendar for 2008-2009 was not available at that time). Now I may not be able to purchase my last two textbooks until the 23rd while classes start on the 18th. I am not a happy camper right now! In my attempts to get ahead of the game, I did get my first assignment for Geology so that I can at least get the reading part done for that class. It would be nice if I can do the same for the History class since I already have that book as well.

Other than that dilemma, I am really enjoying this break! I am well-rested. I have cleaned house. I have the boys schoolwork for the past year in their notebooks. I shopped all the clearance sales that I needed to. The boys are geared up for soccer. I have almost all my shopping done for the cruise. I just need to get our medications together and we will be set. It would be a bonus if I could finish my de-cluttering and get some scrapbooking done as well. Oh and I even wrapped Bailey's birthday presents and saved two for the cruise since her third birthday will be on the 20th, while we are still on the boat. Life is good right now but once we return home from this vacation, it will be very chaotic since I'll be behind in schoolwork, Bailey's birthday stuff, and getting the boys' ready for school.

Another Marathon Completed

It's hard to believe I have just finished another marathon. I am realizing that it is difficult winding down afterwards. I am going as fast as I can despite feeling completely worn down and then bam, it's all over. I can handle the start up fairly easy since we start off with orientation and then start really getting hit hard a bit later but going wide open at the very end makes it hard for me to settle back into a normal routine. I'm now waiting for my final grades to appear but I finished well above a 100 in both classes. Once again, I can't believe I worked so hard when it wasn't completely necessary but it is just how I am. I completed every bit of extra credit even though I didn't need any of it. It has been that way for every extra credit assignment I have done thus far. I really need to chill out more! If I am not applying myself 100% all the time, I stress that I am not working hard enough. Somebody slap me!

Anyway, we are now working on preparing for our cruise. I'm spending extra time with the kids doing fun things for them everyday now. I'll try to keep this up until we get off the cruise ship and by then, my classes will already be back in session. Fall classes start on Aug. 18th and I'm signed up for History, Psychology, Spanish, and Geology. This will be the heaviest semester so far with 13 credit hours but after this, it should be a bit easier unless I push myself for 12 credits in the spring. It's hard to believe I still have 3 more years of this to go but at the same time, I'm amazed with how far I have come and how much I have learned. Now I understand the true meaning of what a well-rounded education is and can appreciate for what it is truly worth. Seriously, every child should have this opportunity if they desire it regardless of academic history. This is how the community college system is designed, to give everyone the same opportunity. Well, I'm doing this now and now is definitely better than never so I'll continue to drudge through this and absorb every ounce of it that I can.

Camping with Homework

I am not so sure if I recommend attempting this task again. Surrounded in an unfamiliar setting, using my laptop that dh has taken over (which by the way is a whole nother complaint), and not being able to escape into a separate room each made this almost impossible. It was easier reading my book without my internet dictionary and being interrupted every other sentence than trying to get any research accomplished. Then we have the added disruptions of all the storms coming through. Geesh, it doesn't rain for a month and the one weekend we decide to take a trip and it storms ove and over and over. Poor puppy is suffering from diahrrea, a swollen mouth, and swollen eye (she couldn't even open it). I just don't know if this trip was really worth all the hassel. I would have much preferred to stay home and take this trip in August after I'm done with this summer schedule. Now I'm really concerned about how I'm going to handle the first week of class for fall semester on the road too. Obviously I have plenty of planning to do before then!

Summer Semester

You can tell it has been chaotic since I haven't posted since this semester started. The American Literature class seems a bit challenging since it is so abstract to me. I can read and read this stuff but always wonder whether or not I understood the full concept. It is very confusing and I get frustrated because a lot of the others seem to breeze right through it. I read it, then browse through some educational links online and then form my own conclusions. Good thing I don't want to teach this type of class! The humanities class is much easier and more on my level so far. It is very similar to Sociology and since I am still winding down from that class, this is like an extension of it although on a smaller scale.

I'm ready to get this semester over with though. I'm so tired and only half-way done. I dread the fall semester but it might be my last heavy load in the online program here. I'm going to try to complete another two classes next summer so I will only have 0-2 classes to finish up next fall in 2009.

In the meantime, I have brought up the Amazon Kindle product and questioned why we are in an online degree program but buy books that we can only use once and then are deemed useless and tossed into the landfill. I am hoping with continued harrassment, I can convince them this is the route they need to consider for the future.

The results are in

I seriously do not know how I pulled this one off. I checked on my grades last Tuesday and there it was...all As once again. It is crazy! I ended up making a 94 on the final religions test despite feeling like I had flunked it. There were several questions on there that I had no clue what the answer was so I had to make an educated guess. Some how I lucked out and must have guessed correctly. Then the research paper that I stressed so much over for that class turned out earning me another 94, which is bad for one of my essays but excellent for that class. I am much relieved to have that semester behind me! I will make a promise to myself to never take another religions class again. We just don't get along well at all. I loved my instructor though! How crazy is that? She is awesome, knowledgable and creative with assignments. It was just a struggle for me personally.

Now that I am on break, I am enjoying a lot of extra sleep, hanging around the house (too expensive to drive any where), cleaning, organizing, and catching up on life in general. I felt like I was in a fog these past 2-3 months and almost no housework was completed the past month. I am also excited about painting the foyer/living room/hallway a fresh, new color scheme. Hopefully I won't get sidetracked and can start on that today. Tomorrow, I have the big tooth extraction which has me really concerned. Then I have a big yard sale coming up Saturday morning as long as I think I can pull it off without being in too much pain. We have tons of toys and clothes to sell this time around. I wonder how we accumulate so much stuff. I am also busy preparing for Bradley's field day event later this month. I finally decided on the menu for the day and it's expensive. I hope the parents will help pitch in and cover the costs.

I'll be back shortly after classes start next week.

The Marathon

The last four weeks sure felt like I was running a marathon and the closer I got to the finish line, the more tired I was, the more I hurt, and the more hopeless I felt. It's all over now but the crying. Haha That was a pretty intense semester and I hope to avoid another like it. I've been told that next spring might be just as difficult so I'll be ready to drop to three classes. I feel like I have alienated Bailey and the house is a disaster. I have so much to catch up on.

I got my 15 page Sociology term paper completed...98. Our group project for Argument-based Research...100. Math comprehensive final exam...? Religions research paper and final test...? I am really worried about these last three grades and since course grades are due tomorrow, I don't think I will get a chance to see how I did individually on them. For the next 24 hours, we need to pray for the best. I hope I haven't ruined my perfect record.

By far, Religions has been my hardest class

Feeling Hopeless

You would think with only 2 weeks of classes left that I would feel on top of the world but that is not the case at all. I can't believe how much work we have crammed into those two weeks. I have a project, term paper, research paper, comprehensive final, religions test (that is difficult enough itself), oodles of math homework covering two more chapters, extra credit work in religions (yep, still difficult), among all the other stuff. Plus I have to juggle Tae Kwon Do for Patrick, Field Day, Book Fair, Science Night, Playgroup for Bailey, and forget cleaning the house-who has time? I don't know how to get everything organized so I can do it all. Then there is only a two week break until Summer classes start and I need to get a tooth pulled quickly before it falls apart or gets infected and need to get the yard sale organized and done to rid our house of all this clutter. I seriously need a nice long break!

Ups and Downs

Seriously, there are some days where I don't really know how I can fit everything in. Days will drag and I just keep plugging along. Then the sky clears up and I begin the see the light at the end of that long, dark tunnel. These past few weeks have been like that and it is very challenging keeping up with everything. There are even some days where I cannot keep up. I lose my keys, my wallet, my kids (just kidding) and wonder if am pushing myself too hard. Then I get an opportunity to talk with someone and that really helps me realize that I can do this. Thee are many others out there going through the same thing.

So I have been enrolled in two classes for this summer, and another four classes for fall. The summer classes shouldn't be too difficult and they will be short with only 10 weeks. The fall is one that I dread. I just have this sinking feeling that it will be similar to this semester and wonder if I should back down to 3 classes. If I can pull it off though, I'll be in good shape and almost done with only seven classes to go. It will be possible for me to have only one or two classes left to finish up that final semester. I could either take a much needed break, or take a class at the next college to help with the transition.

The day-to-day workload is what really drags me down at times though. Just when I think I might give up it lets up and I have some breathing room to spend time with Bailey during the day. After almost missing two deadlines yesterday (posting my assignments within minutes of the deadline), I am more than ready for some up days.

Just that quick, it's all over

I always seem to have such high expectations of myself and then get frustrated when I cannot get everything accomplished. I had this long list of assignments I wanted to get done last week but I let everything else get in the way. I did finish what absolutely needed to get done to meet deadlines last night but that was it. So this week I am left with a mess. I have a midterm on Wednesday, my set set of 4 essays due on Monday, and a whole page of assignments to complete by Sunday as well. I suppose this is yet another typical week for me. I am seriously considering taking two classes this summer to lighten my load to 3 classes for the fall. I believe four online classes at a time is really too time consuming.

I am plugging along with studying for the midterm. I am paranoid after drawing a complete blank on my last quiz so I am hoping to be overly prepared. At least this midterm will not have a set time limit, except when the testing center closes, so I will not have that looming over me. I have a tendency to want to double and even triple check my work therefore the more time I have to work, the easier it is. Now if I could get all of these formulas memorized, I will be in good shape.

Spring Break

Spring Break should officially start on Wednesday, however, it won't feel much like a spring break. I am already feeling overwhelmed with how much I need to finish next week, the following week, and during the month of April. There are so many papers to do. We have 2 more for writing, 3 for religions, and oodles for sociology. Two of those essays are long papers of 8-10 pages. I'm not sure if I have ever written so much before in my life. Oh and I cannot forget the Math Midterm due 3/15 and comprehensive final due at the end of the semester. I'll be thrilled to survive this semester intack. I'm exausted!

So why is it that they try to cram so much down us in such a short period of time? I am all for extending the semester by a couple of weeks to help lighten the load. Athough, I'm sure many of the younger crowd would not approve at all. I am finding they are an entirely different breed of animals.

I have had laryngitis for almost two weeks now. I had no idea I would be sick for so long. It is hard to think straight with a medicine head. Calgon, come take me away!

I continue to do well through all of this. While I'm not maintaining those 99's like I did last semester, I still have an A in every class so far. I find this remarkable considering the time constraints I deal with on a daily basis. I have a 99 average in my writing class, a 96 in Religions, a 97 in Math, and 97 in Sociology. So I really cannot complain about my performance so far. However my biggest fear arose last week when I opened my 2nd Math quiz and drew a complete blank. By the time I worked through half the test, I almost ran out of time and had to hurry through the remainder. Thankfully I didn't flunk it! I hate taking tests.

Role Model

Wow, I don't know how I did it, but I did it! I aced my first set of Sociology essays and my professor asked to use my essays as a model for the rest of the class. I was extremely concerned about that first assignment but apparantly I did just fine. I suppose it is yet another classic example of personal lack of confidence in my own abilities.

Additionally, I have a meeting at 2pm today to discuss using one of the school's learning software. I am not exactly sure what all that will entail but I'll find out soon enough. I already have my notes ready just in case.

Now the wait for my first argumentative essay is driving me over the edge. I feel like the lack of confidence prevents me from concentrating too much time and energy on the next essay until I know that I have mastered the previous one.

By the way, I picked up my progressive lenses yesterday and I can finally see everything again. It's amazing how big and clear words are now. It's as if they are jumping off the page instead of hiding in my blindspots. It sure makes reading a much easier task now.

Blind as a Bat

After struggling to read despite plenty of rest, I finally scheduled an eye exam. I was not looking forward to this appointment but I knew something needed to be done. It takes me forever to read since I have to study words to figure out what they are. Then there are others that I never figure out at all.

It turns out that I have some 3-4 different issues going on right now. My right eye has become increasingly worse (it was my good eye), I have developed a lazy eye, my eyes have too much pressure in them, and I didn't even ask the status of my left eye. I will need bifocals because when I use glasses to read something up close then I cannot read anything further away. I am constantly struggling to find that area where it is the clearest for reading.

Wow, here I just days before my 40th birthday and I already need bifocals! That really hit me pretty hard. I cried all afternoon over that realization.

Hopefully my new glasses will be ready for pick up on Tuesday as scheduled. I am quickly getting further behid and missing questions on tests because I cannot read everything well enough. In the meantime, I'll keep that magnifying glass handy for emergencies.

I'm swamped over here!

Yikes!! I feel like I don't have time to breathe at times. Poor Bailey is watching way too much TV. But what can I do? I certainly can't be up every night all night long. I would be dead the next day which wouldn't be fair either. I had one essay due last night and another 4 due this afternoon. Then I get back from picking up the boys and dropping off their science fair projects only to find a whole new list of homework to complete by next week.

So what is so hard about turning in essays back to back like that? Well it's like this. I feel like I am borderline (if not overboard) OCD. So I have this overwhelming desire to revise the crap out of a piece of writing. It never feels perfect. As soon as I send it off, I have to pull myself away completely or I will find many other changes I should have made. This is literally driving me crazy. I'll probably be in the nut house by the end of March. By then I'll have at least another 10 essays under my belt.

Now back to the OCD thing. It's like this with many things I do. With the boys' science fair projects, I kept wanting to edit this and that and reprint and recut and add and the list goes on and on. It took me a few days to perfect freehanding various nuts and popcorn for creative effects. I probably drove the boys nuts. LOL This carries over to other aspects of my life as well. Let's not even get started talking about germs! And now this dang wireless keyboard will most likely get thrown out the window in a few more days. It's skips more letters than my heart skips beats during a test.

Why is it that I have to be the one whose toddler doesn't sleep? I cannot let Bailey have a nap or she is up until midnight. We tested this theory one last time Thursday night. I take Patrick to Math night at school. Bailey is upset and falls asleep. I get home an hour later and wake her right up. She is up until 11:55. No joke! I can't take this! I'm lucky if she sleeps 10 hours a night. Bradley sleeps more than she does.

I've complained enough for one night. It's time to get busy with another week of homework. Sunday will be here in what seems like 24 hours.

Off to a rough start

With inclement weather, a traveling husband, and three kids driving me bonkers, I am really off to a rough start. I about cried last week out of frustration wondering how long I can keep this pace up. Last week was just so overwhelming. I am slowly getting a handle on things the past couple of days but didn't get much accomplished this afternoon or evening. I had to take a break and clean up the house and spend some time with Bailey. It was long overdue!

Snow Day

Snows Days are not necessarily a good thing when you are doing classes online. There is no such thing as a snow day. Our work is still due by the weekly deadline regardless of the weather, even if the electricity goes out. So while all three kids enjoyed torturing me all day long yesterday, nothing else was accomplished. It was a wasted day for me and now I am another day behind schedule while struggling to find my groove again. And what could be worse? Another snow day! Yes, now they are predicting more snow tomorrow. I have so many assignments due Sunday night. I haven't even finished one class yet. I am steadily making progress (except for yesterday, of course) but it is taking me forever to get anything finished.

Let's hope I can find some productve way to get my work caught up over the next couple of days!

First day back!

It always seems to have its share of chaos. I wake up with a horrendous headache, not sure if it was sinus related or due to the decrease in caffeine. Then I can only 'see' one of my classes and everything isn't posted in there yet. That takes well into the afternoon to fix. Bailey is throwing up by lunchtime so I'm busy dealing with her as well. Then I get a call from her CDSA regarding her therapy sessions and decided to go ahead and cease them for now (that is a whole other story). Steve doesn't get home from work until after 7pm. In the midst of all the chaos I did manage to get both boys' homework finished, walk for 20 minutes, get everyone fed, and they had outside play time. By the end of the day, I could work a little in each class so that I felt like I was at least present and accounted for.

Gearing up for Spring Semester

Yikes, I just realized this next semester starts on Monday! Geesh, have I really been sick that long? Bradley was sick before getting out, then got the ear infection the first day of break, then gave it to Bailey, then Bailey gave it to me, then mine turned into the sinus infection. It seems this whole break has been slept away. This is the first night I have had to myself and I am still doped up.

So here is the kicker. I gained 5 pounds my first semester. How? My downing too many sodas keeping myself awake into the wee hours of the morning so that my days were spent with Bailey and the kids as much as possible. Then add another 2 pounds from Christmas and being sick and wham, that adds up to a whopping 7 pounds. So tomorrow I'm heading to weight watchers to join. It's the only diet program that I know of that works for me. So now I am juggling the demands of dieting along with playgroup, volunteering at the elementary school, Bailey's therapy, Patrick's Tae Kwon Do, life with 3 kids, and my school work. It is going to be one wild ride!